Monday, August 4, 2014


Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay. 

There would be a cure for stretch marks. 

Natural childbirth would become obsolete. 

Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem. 

All methods of birth control would be 100% effective. 

Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.  

Men would be eager to talk about commitment. 

They wouldn't think triplets were so cute. 

Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM. 

Briefcases would be used as diaper bags. 

Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes. 

Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees. 

Women would rule the world.

 THIS is interesting!!
A guy calls the hospital & yells, "You've gotta send help!!  My wife's in labor!!"  The nurse says, "Calm down, sir.  Is this her first child?"  He says, "No, you idiot--this is her husband!!" 
Did you hear the one about the woman writer who went into labor and began to yell, "Couldn't! Wouldn't! Shouldn't! Didn't! Can't!"? She was having contractions.
Pregnancy Questions & Answers:

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

And some pregnant women cartoons:

Somewhere in this world a woman gives birth to a child every minute.  We have to find this woman & stop her!!----fishducky