Wednesday, December 17, 2014


      My house is clean.  I have discovered an effortless way to keep it like that.  Her name is Olivia & she comes every Monday.  Even before we could afford her, my house appeared clean.  My mother did things differently than I do.  I have memories of a pile of newspapers on the dining room table.  She would pick them up, wax the table & put the papers back on it.  My method--throw out the papers & don't dust or wax.  I figure that if someone is going to do a white glove inspection of your home, the least you can do as a gracious hostess is to let them find dust!!

      My daughters-in-law share my way of thinking.  When my grandson was about to be born I flew to Connecticut to help out.  Linda had gone out & I was sitting & visiting with Matt & their little daughter.  I looked around at the mess & said to Matt, "I'm so glad that Linda feels comfortable enough around me that she didn't go crazy cleaning for my visit."  Matt laughed & said, "She did!!"  I bought her this sign which she proudly still keeps hanging in her kitchen:

I bought this sign for my other daughter-in law:

Nameless is nothing like me,
so this is her sign:

Here are 16 house cleaning tips which I've found to be helpful over the years:

       1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.

2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!

3. The best mini-vacuum for an after meal clean-up is the dog.

4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.

5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.

6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke 
the vacuum cleaner.

7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

8. If guys were supposed to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.

9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

11. Simplify... hire a maid.

12: My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top 
bunk bed until I faint.

13. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

14. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

15. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.

16. If dusting is really out of control, simply place a showy urn on the 
coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..." 

This "Baby Mop" is a real product:

Zsa Zsa Gabor claimed to be a marvelous housekeeper; every time she left a man, she kept his house.

Housecleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places----fishducky