I don't think my writing
anything would improve this post or make it funnier. I'll just let it
speak for itself (with, perhaps, an occasional comment):
First, a joke; the rest is true:
First, a joke; the rest is true:
There
once was a "smart criminal," a "not that smart criminal,"
and an all-around "not smart at all criminal." They were going to
cross the Sahara Desert to get away from the police. The "smart criminal"
says, "meet here in an hour with something useful to cross the desert
with!" Later on an hour passes. The "smart criminal" says I
brought some ice packs to keep our heads cool, the "not so smart criminal"
says I brought a pail of water to keep us hydrated. The "not smart at all criminal"
says, "I brought a car door so I can roll the window down when it gets
hot!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A bungling burglar
was caught red-handed trying to loot a house when police were already inside
interviewing a victim of another crime. Darren Kimpton, whose counsel
described his offending as ‘clumsy’ and ‘pathetic’, had planned to steal items
and sell them to buy Christmas gifts for his elderly parents."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman in Germany just knocked off a pharmacy with her knockers.
A woman in Germany just knocked off a pharmacy with her knockers.
The
recent mother, described by police as "robust," and
renamed by me as "RoboBust," decided to turn her maternity
leave into a maternity thieve when she walked into a
pharmacy and asked to buy a breast pump. She paid for the $25 pump with a
bill worth almost ten times that amount and then lifted her shirt, pulled
out a boob, and sprayed the pharmacist in the face.
According to The Local, staff and customers begged the lactating lady
to holster her squirt gun, but she continued milking it as
she rummaged through a display case and cash register.
After a final squirt, the woman made a
hasty getaway. The pharmacist noticed only about $125 missing from
the register.
She didn't even steal the breast pump,
probably to save that milk for her next crime. Breast vs. bottle
feeding is a controversial topic among parenting experts, but as any
good thief will tell you, mammo ammo is really only effective when it
comes directly from the nipple.
Police say the woman was speaking in an
unrecognizable language and described her behavior as "almost
unbelievable."
I've shown you this guy before:
Some have just been arrested,
although they may have been difficult to identify:
Some are naturally photogenic:
"I needed money to buy a belt, Officer!!"
"I'm so hungry!!"
And some don't really mean to be criminals;
they are just dumb!!
Thank you, Susan (http://susan-swiderski.blogspot.com)--this is my favorite!!
Not a criminal--just stupid:
I have no comment on these two:
In case you have another laugh or two left,
here are some cartoons;
There are no stupid questions. But
there are a lot of inquisitive idiots----fishducky
