Tuesday, March 10, 2015



(1/3 reworked post, 2/3 new stuff!!)


Canadian geese are known to fly in a "V" shaped as they migrate across the county. The lead goose in the "V" cuts through the air making it easier for the rest of the geese behind him. As that lead goose becomes tired, he will drop off and join one of the sides and a new lead goose will take over. This is done several times as they are flying long distances. So if you look up in the sky and see a "V" shape of geese and one side is longer than the other, do you know what that means?

A: There are more geese on that side.

If a one L-ama is a Tibetian monk & a two L-ama is a South American pack animal, what is a three L-ama?

A: A really big fire.

A guy drove to the beach and parked his car close to the water's edge, not realizing it was low tide.  He then he went for a long hike up into the mountains. During his excursion, high tide came and then receded, completely submersing his car for a period of time in the process. When he finally returned to his car, he became very concerned. Why?

A: He found out that he had tuna in his Mercury!

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve.  They find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven.  St. Peter tells them they must present something associated with Christmas.  The first man digs in his pocket & pulls out a cross, so he is allowed in.  The second man shows St. Peter a rosary, so in he goes. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.  St. Peter smiles & lets him in.  Why?

A: St. Peter recognized the stockings--they were Carol's.

A barrel of water weighs 20 pounds.  What do you have to add to make it weigh 12 pounds?

A: Holes.

In New Orleans, Louisiana, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.  Why?

A: You need a camera, instead.

How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

A: Any way you want.  A raw egg will never crack a concrete floor!

You have five people to feed & two large potatoes.  Without using fractions, how do you make sure everyone gets an equal portion?

A: Make mashed potatoes.

The following test was sent to me by my friend Carole.  Thanks, Carole!!


This test is to ascertain your mental state now.  If you get one right you are doing okay -- if you get none right you better go for counselling.

There are 4 test questions.  Don't miss one.

Giraffe test
1...    How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?  Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down

The correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

Elephant Test

2...    How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? 

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
refrigerator?  Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.   This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

Lion King Test

3...    The Lion King is hosting an Animal Conference.  All the animals attend ... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant.  The elephant is in the refrigerator.  You just put him in there.   This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

Crocodile Test

4... There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat.  How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across.  Haven't you been listening?  All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference.  This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

One last question:

Some people wonder what their purpose in life is--mine is to entertain you----fishducky