CHECK
LIST FOR PILOT SURVIVAL
1. Every
takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you
push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they
get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then
they get bigger again.
3. Flying
isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's
always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing
you were down here.
5. The
ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The
propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool.
Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When
in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A
'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one
after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn
from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them
yourself.
10. You
know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the
ramp.
11. The
probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.
Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.
12. Never
let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes
earlier.
13. Stay
out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another
airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that
mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14.
Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take
offs you've made.
15. There
are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows
what they are.
16. You
start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to
fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters
can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If
all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and
all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are
not at all as they should be.
19. In
the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per
hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good
judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from
bad judgment.
21. It's
always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
22. Keep
looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And
it's not subject to repeal.
24. The
four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind
you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.
25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are,
however, no old, bold pilots.
jokebuddah.com
Did you hear about the two urban survivalists who decided to try duck
hunting? They got their dog and equipment, and went out to a place in the woods
where they thought the hunting would be good. But after several hours of
thrashing through the forest, one fellow said,” I don't know about this. We've
been out here all day and haven't caught a single duck, do you think we're
doing something wrong?" "I don't know," replied the other.
"Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough."
Do you know why Jewish men die before their wives? They want to!!----fishducky
