(First posted 12-2-13.)
When our kids were small we called my husband’s sister, Jackie, one hot 4th of July & asked if we could come over. She was the only one in the family with a swimming pool. The kids loved her, as did we. She was a very warm & generous person. She said, “Sure—come on out! Can you guys stay for dinner? We’re having some friends over & you’ll have to bring your own chicken, but I’ll supply the rest of the food.” We told her that would be great & that we’d be there in a couple of hours. We called our friend, Larry, who could get his hands on anything, anytime. (I will explain this reference later.)
We loaded the kids in the car, stopped & picked up a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken & drove out to Jackie’s house. We all had a fun afternoon swimming & visiting with my sister in law, her husband, their friends & everybody’s kids. When it was time to serve dinner, Jackie said to my husband, Bud, “It’s a good thing you brought a whole bucket of chicken. I hope we have enough to serve everyone.” Bud told her not to worry—we had another chicken in the car & asked her if he should go get it. She said, “Yes, please.” For some unknown reason, Jackie was shocked when Bud brought in the chicken from the car. Perhaps it was because she expected more KFC. What Bud brought in was not more KFC. It was a LIVE chicken, in a cage! (Supplied by Larry.) She asked him why & he explained, simply, “You told us to bring our own chicken, so we did!”
(Note from Larry: If you want a live chicken on the 4th of July, it’s much easier if you order ahead.)
The next two are from notalwaysright.com, a very funny website that prints true dialogues that are sent in about customers (& other stupid people).
Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, can I have a small pork fried rice, please? Without pork.”
Me: “A small pork fried rice, without pork?”
Customer: “Yes… can you add some chicken to that?”
Me: “Um, so you want a small chicken fried rice?”
Customer: “No. I want a small pork fried rice, no pork, with chicken.”
Me: “Sure… anything else?”
Customer: “Yes, I also need a small chicken and broccoli.”
Me: “Sure, is that all?”
Customer: “Yes…” (pauses) “Oh… and no broccoli in the chicken and broccoli!”
(A family sits at a table in a restaurant specializing in steak dishes.)
Me: “Hi guys, welcome to [restaurant]. Let me just tell you about today’s special, the prime rib with–”
Customer: “We don’t need to hear this. Just stop.”
Me: “So, you already know about the special? Great! Would you like to start with any–”
Customer: “No! We’re vegetarians!”
Me: “Oh, all right, well we have a few vegetarian dishes on the–”
Customer: “No! Listen, we know what we want already.”
Me: “Okay, great. Go ahead.”
Customer: “Finally! The kids will have the chicken nuggets, my husband will have the chicken burger, and I’ll have the chicken strip salad.”
Me: “Sure. Anything else?”
Husband: “I’ll have extra bacon on the burger.”
Don't think this is funny?
Perhaps you have to "chickenize"
a word search puzzle for you:
(The answers are at the end of this post.)
Lots of cartoons today.
Apparently, chickens are funny!!
Word search answers: