(First posted 12-2-13.)
When our
kids were small we called my
husband’s sister, Jackie, one hot 4th of July & asked if we could come
over. She was the only one in the family with a swimming pool. The
kids loved her, as did we. She was a very warm & generous person. She
said, “Sure—come on out! Can you guys stay for dinner? We’re having
some friends over & you’ll have to bring your own chicken, but I’ll supply
the rest of the food.” We told her that would be great & that we’d be
there in a couple of hours. We called our friend, Larry, who could get
his hands on anything, anytime. (I will explain this reference later.)
We loaded
the kids in the car, stopped & picked up a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken
& drove out to Jackie’s house. We all had a fun afternoon swimming
& visiting with my sister in law, her husband, their friends &
everybody’s kids. When it was time to serve dinner, Jackie said to my
husband, Bud, “It’s a good thing you brought a whole bucket of chicken. I
hope we have enough to serve everyone.” Bud told her not to worry—we had
another chicken in the car & asked her if he should go get it. She
said, “Yes, please.” For some unknown reason, Jackie was shocked when Bud
brought in the chicken from the car. Perhaps it was because she expected
more KFC. What Bud brought in was not more KFC. It was a LIVE
chicken, in a cage! (Supplied by Larry.) She asked him why & he
explained, simply, “You told us to bring our own chicken, so we did!”
(Note
from Larry: If you want a live chicken on the 4th of
July, it’s much easier if you order ahead.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next
two are from notalwaysright.com, a very funny website that prints true dialogues that are
sent in about customers (& other stupid people).
Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, can I have a small pork fried rice, please?
Without pork.”
Me: “A small pork fried rice, without pork?”
Customer: “Yes… can you add some chicken to that?”
Me: “Um, so you want a small chicken fried rice?”
Customer: “No. I want a small pork fried rice, no pork, with
chicken.”
Me: “Sure… anything else?”
Customer: “Yes, I also need a small chicken and broccoli.”
Me: “Sure, is that all?”
Customer: “Yes…” (pauses) “Oh… and no broccoli in
the chicken and broccoli!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(A family sits at a table in a restaurant specializing in steak
dishes.)
Me: “Hi guys, welcome to [restaurant]. Let me just tell you
about today’s special, the prime rib with–”
Customer: “We don’t need to hear this. Just stop.”
Me: “So, you already
know about the special? Great! Would you like to start with any–”
Customer: “No! We’re vegetarians!”
Me: “Oh, all right, well we have a few vegetarian dishes on
the–”
Customer: “No! Listen, we know what we want already.”
Me: “Okay, great. Go ahead.”
Customer: “Finally! The kids will have the chicken nuggets,
my husband will have the chicken burger, and I’ll have the chicken strip
salad.”
Me: “Sure. Anything else?”
Husband: “I’ll have extra bacon on the burger.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perhaps you have to
"chickenize"
a word search puzzle for you:
(The answers are at the end of this post.)
Lots of cartoons today.
Apparently, chickens are funny!!
Word search answers: