(Another week of stuff from my book, "Fishducky's Fables".)
Roger Frankenstein went online to the University of Phoenix to study automotive repair, fashion design and chemistry. There, he was consumed by the desire to discover the secret of life and, after several years of research, became convinced that he had found it.
Armed with the knowledge he had long been seeking, Roger spent months scrounging through wrecking yards and feverishly fashioning a creature out of old automobile body parts. He used tires for hands and feet, headlights and an old Cadillac grill for a face, and a steering wheel for a brain just as you or I would. One stormy night, while using a fork in an attempt to get a bagel out of the toaster (which is a very dangerous thing to do) there was a flash of electricity. In the secrecy of his apartment, his creation came to life. He named him Manny, after his favorite uncle. When he looked at the monstrosity that he had created, however, the sight horrified him. (His uncle wasn’t anything special to look at, either.) After a fitful night of sleep, interrupted by the specter of the monster looming over him, he ran into the streets, eventually wandering in remorse. When he returned to his apartment Manny the Monster was gone, but Roger had a bad headache. He took two aspirins and went back to bed.
A week or so later, he heard a honking noise at his door. The monster had returned and he had demands for his creator. He told him that the word on the street was that he would be much happier with a mate and ordered Roger to make a bride for him. He said that if Manny came back in a week she would be ready, if he could get the parts. The monster was satisfied and he left.
Roger returned to the wrecking yards and brought home more parts. He also got some extra-large silicone breast implants, because he wanted to make sure Manny was happy, and constructed a sleek, sexy mate for him. He named her Mercedes, because the name seemed to fit her. Manny came back in a week, as instructed, took one look at her and fell head over heels (or would that be head over wheels?) in love. He asked her to marry him, and having had no dating experience, she accepted. They were married the next day at City Hall, with Roger as best man.
A couple of months later, the monster was back at Roger’s door. He told him that the marriage was going very well. The only complaint he had was that Mercedes kept nagging him to get a job. He said that he had no training and that the only thing he knew how to do was to drive, since he was a big and clumsy monster and was built with tires and a steering wheel. He had no idea how he could earn a living.
Roger suggested they look through the want ads and they happened to see an ad for an upcoming Monster Rally. It was perfect for Manny! He entered and he won easily. He entered many more rallies and won almost every single one. (STP painted an endorsement on his bumper, which he wore with pride.) He made lots of money and could afford all the gas and oil he and his wife would ever want. Mercedes made sure that he went to the mechanic for regular tune ups. They became the proud parents of three little sports cars and lived happily ever after.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you----fishducky