CAN YOU SPEAK ENGLISH SO IT SOUNDS LIKE ENGLISH, PLEASE?

My computer on a recent occasion

could not complete a simple application

so in preparation for this presentation

I had a short communication

with some outsourced repair station

can you imagine my frustration

when this dreaded conversation
soon became an abomination

when the agent, whom I believe was Asian,
or else of Indian persuasion,

asked me if I were Caucasian
with some obvious trepidation
yet trying to avoid a conflagration
I asked why my coloration

should be part of the equation
my immediate inclination
was that I felt it was an invasion

of my personal situation

she said it was not her intention

to cause me any apprehension

but she had asked me a simple question,

“Can you wait?” which my elderly ears’ translation

said, “Are you white?” (an aberration!!)

it was not due to inattention

yet I caused my own aggravation

and the subsequent confrontation

with this child of another nation

because of her strange inflection

I couldn’t understand her directions

which brought the call to its culmination

in summation,

I would rather have had a conversation

with the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s

division of tax evasion

if there are further complications

I’ll not again in desperation

put myself in this situation

I now make this stipulation

instead I’ll call a blood relation,

my son, who’s an English speaker by persuasion

I give to him my commendation

he will again be my salvation

after a short consultation

he has given me his affirmation

that he’ll sort out this complication

and, if it’s any consolation,

he’ll save me the degradation
and, indeed, the devastation

of suffering the indignation

of a forced relocation

to a nursing home where the accommodations

are for those of my generation

by my calculations

I would not be in this situation

if these outsourced conversations

were handled in some nation

where English was spoken without hesitation

instead of sounding like an incantation

I realize that these people of foreign origination
who have received much education 

are hired because of financial consideration

but their accents cause such tremendous consternation

let me make this observation
which I have reached after cogitation

as a way of self-preservation

if there were a termination

of these outsourced communications

I could get my own information!!

My dream is to never again hear a male voice say, "Hello, my name is Peggy; may I help you?"----fishducky