When my so-in-law first moved to the United States he spoke no English. It was imperative that he learn some important words & phrases quickly. These, of course, included “please” & “thank you” & “where’s the bathroom?” He feels that the most important phrase he learned was, “It’s not my fault. It’s Nameless’ fault!”
We have a very good friend; I'll call him Max. I don't think Max has encountered any situation that proved too sticky for him to handle. Let me give you a couple of examples:
My husband, Bud, went with Max & two other friends to Las Vegas when they were about 18 years old. Max (Mr. Cool) was carded in one of the casinos. The security guard asked him his age, to which he replied, "Twenty-two." The guard asked to see his driver's license, which obviously would prove him to be 18. Max said, cockily, "No problem" & whipped it out. The guard took a perfunctory look at it, handed it back & apologized.
Max & his wife had an apartment in Paris. We flew over to visit them & went to dinner at the Tour d'Argent. You have to understand what this restaurant was like. It was very old, very fancy & very expensive.
As I remember, you entered a circular foyer surrounded by windows with large (Magnum? Jeroboam?) bottles of old extremely high priced
champagne on a ledge beneath each window.
Sort of like this:
Max was wearing his coat over his shoulders, like a cape. As he took it off, the bottom swung toward the windows, knocking off one bottle & breaking it. I (& probably you) would have apologized & told them to put it on my bill. Not Max!! He told the maitre d' that the placement of those bottles clearly constituted a danger & that it was extremely fortunate that no one was cut or otherwise injured. The maitre d' apologized profusely & probably took something off our bill. The meal was delicious, by the way & yes, Max is an attorney!!
This professor was almost never in his office,
so he put this large poster of himself on his door:
Before you start blaming me for how short this post was,
let me give you some extra cartoons: