HAIKUS FOR YOUSE

(An extensively reworked post from June, 2013 with all new cartoons, as always.)

A haiku is a poem consisting of three lines.  The first line has five syllables, the second, seven & the third, five again.  The poems do not rhyme.  They are generally meant to convey a feeling or an emotion.  Following are too many some examples, which were stolen borrowed taken from too many places for me to remember so that I can give credit to their authors, to whom I apologize.  These first ones are mine:

These are my haikus

I think they are quite clever

But I may be wrong

Autumn evening
A starling on a bare branch
Shits on my clean car

Too much to absorb

I‘ll use pen and paper

To write this all down

Stately treasure chest

Holds all that I ever loved

Refrigerator

If I shop online

My husband will never know

What a good idea

Baseball sometimes holds

Ten minutes of wild thrills in

A three hour game

Duck! Don’t shoot! Watch out!

Batteries not included

Words to dodge trouble 

If life gives lemons

Add tequila, ice and make

A margarita

Middle of the night

I cannot open my eyes

But I need to pee

I make many errors

When using a typewriter

Where is the Wite-Out?

Poor hungry husband

Let's go to Jack in the Box

I have burned the roast

Oh, horrible day

I want to watch the game but

The cable is out

Painful childbirth
Screams "Get this thing out of me"
Like nine months before

Should I marry him?

He is quite rich, sick and old

How long could he last?

Show me you love me

Kiss my neck, my face, my soul

You’re such a good dog

Elephants are fat

But no one will criticize

So they don't diet

Here are some more haikus, apparently written by computers:

Three things are certain
Death, taxes, and lost data
Guess which has occurred

Everything is gone
Your life's work has been destroyed
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

Windows Seven crashed
I am the Blue Screen of Death
No one hears your screams

A file that big?
It might have been useful
But now it is gone

Chaos reigns within
Reflect, repent, and reboot
Order shall return 

This site has been moved
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
Have to delete you

Abort this effort
Save and close all that you have
You ask way too much

First snow, then silence
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner 

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that 

Out of memory

We wish to hold the whole sky
But we never will

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message
These words: "File not found"

Error message
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on
This page is not here

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

And some Redneck haikus:

Beauty naked in repose

Silvery silhouette girls

Adorn my mudflaps

Damn, in that tube top

You almost make me forget

You are my sister

Remorse & painful sadness

Can't fit big screen TV through

Double wide trailer's door

Unemployment's out

Hey, maybe I can get on

Disability

Distant siren screams

Dumb ass Verne's been playing with

Gasoline again

Tonight we hunger

Gran sent grocery money

To Jimmy Swaggert

Wedding night fireworks

Flo's ex-husband still threatens
To bring back the kids 

Go to the dentist? 
Grandpa went once, and now look 
He has no teeth left

Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard marathon
At 9 o'clock

Seeking solitude

Bubba’s wife Tammy files for
Restraining order

Haikus may be written by children:

Or by medical students:

Or even animals:

And on any subject:

Had the perfect haiku

In mind.  Now it's forgotten.

Damn you, ADD!!----fishducky