(An extensively reworked post from June, 2013 with all new cartoons, as always.)
A haiku is a
poem consisting of three lines. The first line has five syllables, the
second, seven & the third, five again. The poems do not rhyme.
They are generally meant to convey a feeling or an emotion.
Following are too many some examples, which were stolen borrowed taken
from too many places for me to remember so that I can give credit to their
authors, to whom I apologize. These first ones are mine:
These are
my haikus
I think
they are quite clever
But I may
be wrong
Autumn evening
A starling on a bare branch
Shits on my clean car
A starling on a bare branch
Shits on my clean car
Too
much to absorb
I‘ll
use pen and paper
To
write this all down
Stately treasure chest
Poor hungry husband
Elephants are fat
Stately treasure chest
Holds all that I ever
loved
Refrigerator
If I shop online
My husband will never know
What a good idea
Baseball sometimes
holds
Ten minutes of wild
thrills in
A three hour game
Duck! Don’t shoot! Watch out!
Duck! Don’t shoot! Watch out!
Batteries not included
Words to dodge trouble
If life gives lemons
Add tequila, ice and
make
A margarita
Middle of the night
I cannot open my eyes
But I need to pee
I make many errors
When using a
typewriter
Where is the Wite-Out?
Poor hungry husband
Let's go to Jack in
the Box
I have burned the
roast
Oh, horrible day
I want to watch the
game but
The cable is out
Painful childbirth
Screams "Get this thing out of me"
Like nine months before
Painful childbirth
Screams "Get this thing out of me"
Like nine months before
Should I marry him?
He is quite rich, sick
and old
How long could he last?
Show me you love me
Kiss my neck, my face,
my soul
You’re such a good dog
Elephants are fat
But no one will
criticize
So they don't diet
Here
are some more haikus, apparently written by computers:
Beauty naked in repose
Damn, in that tube top
Remorse & painful sadness
Unemployment's out
Tonight we hunger
Wedding night fireworks
Seeking solitude
Three
things are certain
Death, taxes, and lost data
Guess which has occurred
Everything is gone
Your life's work has been destroyed
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
Windows Seven crashed
I am the Blue Screen of Death
No one hears your screams
A file that big?
It might have been useful
But now it is gone
Death, taxes, and lost data
Guess which has occurred
Everything is gone
Your life's work has been destroyed
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
Windows Seven crashed
I am the Blue Screen of Death
No one hears your screams
A file that big?
It might have been useful
But now it is gone
Chaos
reigns within
Reflect, repent, and reboot
Order shall return
Reflect, repent, and reboot
Order shall return
This
site has been moved
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
Have to delete you
Abort this effort
Save and close all that you have
You ask way too much
First snow, then silence
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
Have to delete you
Abort this effort
Save and close all that you have
You ask way too much
First snow, then silence
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner
Yesterday
it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
Out of
memory
We wish
to hold the whole sky
But we never will
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message
These words: "File not found"
Error message
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank
But we never will
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message
These words: "File not found"
Error message
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank
You
step in the stream,
But the water has moved on
This page is not here
No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?
But the water has moved on
This page is not here
No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?
And
some Redneck haikus:
Beauty naked in repose
Silvery
silhouette girls
Adorn
my mudflaps
Damn, in that tube top
You
almost make me forget
You are
my sister
Remorse & painful sadness
Can't
fit big screen TV through
Double
wide trailer's door
Unemployment's out
Hey,
maybe I can get on
Disability
Distant
siren screams
Dumb
ass Verne's been playing with
Gasoline
again
Tonight we hunger
Gran
sent grocery money
To
Jimmy SwaggertWedding night fireworks
Flo's
ex-husband still threatens
To bring back the kids
Go to the dentist?
Grandpa went once, and now look
He has no teeth left
To bring back the kids
Go to the dentist?
Grandpa went once, and now look
He has no teeth left
Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard marathon
At 9 o'clock
Dukes of Hazzard marathon
At 9 o'clock
Bubba’s wife
Tammy files for
Restraining order
Restraining order
Or by medical students:
Or even animals:
And on any subject:
Had the perfect haiku
In mind. Now it's forgotten.
Damn you, ADD!!----fishducky