How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark.
None. That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark.
How many British Queens does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One: She holds the bulb while the world revolves
around her.
How many blondes does it take to
change a light bulb?
One
hundred. One to hold the light bulb, the
other ninety nine to rotate the house.
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
One,
but the light bulb must really want to change.
How many L.A. cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Six:
one to do it & five to smash the old bulb to pieces.
How many Englishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
What
do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a
thousand years & it has worked just fine.
How many Hollywood executives does it take to change a light bulb?
Just
one, but you have to promise Tom Hanks will star, creative control & an $80
million budget.
How many FBI agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
That
information <deleted> <deleted> when the <deleted> possibly
at the behest of <deleted> national security <deleted>
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only
two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
How many AOLers does it take to change a light bulb?
What?
You can change light bulbs?
How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to change the bulb, & one to complain about how much
better life was before electricity.
How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
None:
Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness (tm) as the industry standard.
How many straight San
Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Both of them.
How many Zen masters
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Zen masters carry their own light.
How many KGB agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None:
There never was any light bulb.
How many mystery writers
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in &
the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
How many lawyers does it
take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
How many people in
Chernobyl does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, because people who glow in the dark don't
need light bulbs.
How many board meetings
does it take to get a light bulb changed?
This topic was resumed from last week's
discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will
be continued next week. Meanwhile...
How many Christian
Scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, but it takes at least one to sit & pray
for the old one to go back on.
How many Roman Catholics
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three.
Two to do the screwing, & one to hear the confession.
How many support technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, & it seems to be
working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? OK. Now, exactly
how dark is it? OK, there could be four or five things wrong . . . have you
tried the light switch?
How many
Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to turn the bulb,
one for support, & four to relate to the experience.
How many
Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Nine. One
to change the bulb, & eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates
the electricity that powers it.
How many people from New Jersey does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None of your freakin' business!
How many Teamsters does it
take to change a light bulb?
50. 50? Yeah, 50; it’s in
the contract.
How many consultants
does it take to change a light bulb?
I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.
davidgardiner.net & netfunny.com & fishducky’s brain
What is the difference between a pregnant woman & a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb----fishducky
