Tuesday, May 10, 2016


Did you ever realize that the definition of baby could be:
A small, poopy man or woman, no taller than a lamp

The following pictures & explanation were sent to me by Cranky at joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com.  Thank you, Joe!!  This should clear up any questions my followers might have on reproduction:

Canadian photographer Patrice Laroche surely will have no trouble explaining to his kids about the birds and the bees.  During his wife Sandra’s pregnancy, the artist  created this explanatory photo series titled “How to Make a Baby”.  The pregnancy saga of Sandra and Patrice basically denounces all the traditional cabbage patch and stork stories.

If you're in a big hurry
(like you have dinner plans or something)
you could do it like this:

This is another possible explanation:

This was a funny movie!!:

I'm pretty sure that this quote from the movie "Knocked Up" doesn't have it right:

"Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby."

This kid might also be a little confused:

My cousin was expecting her second child, and her three year old told me that she figured out how her sister was going to be born. Her mom looked at me with this, "Yeah... I have no idea what she's talking about because we didn't tell her anything about it" look on her face, and we waited to hear what she had to say, expecting it to be pure gold. And of course, she didn't disappoint:

"Well, when my mom gets so big she can't put on her pants anymore, she'll go to the hospital. Then the doctor will press on her button (as she pointed to my cousin's protruding, turkey-timer thermometer navel), and he'll keep pressing it until my mom get sick of it and throws my baby sister up."

Some celebrity quotes on the subject:

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it’s less traumatic for the baby because it’s under water. But it’s certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool. --Elayne Boosler

Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.  –-Carol Burnett

You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she’s eating for one. –-Jay Leno

How can I have morning sickness when I don’t get up till noon? –-Rita Rudner

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. --Rita Rudner

Pregnancy is like looking both ways before you cross the street & then getting hit by an airplane