Do you
know who's the most powerful person of all time? Not the President or a
czar, not Einstein, not your mother, not Hercules & not even Superman--it's
Chuck Norris!!
Some facts about Chuck Norris:
When the
Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck
Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
There is
no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has
allowed to live.
Outer
space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck
Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck
Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck
Norris counted to infinity--twice.
There is
no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck
Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up. He's pushing the earth
down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world & punch himself in the
back of the head.
Chuck Norris'
hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
There used to be a street named Chuck Norris but it was renamed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris & lives.
There is
no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the
sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make
him drink.
Chuck
Norris doesn't wear a watch; he decides
what time it is.
Chuck
Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck
Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck
Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Google
will not search for Chuck Norris because it knows you do not
find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
So ask yourself:
I'd
better stop before he gets mad at me. If he did, even the Witless
Witness Protection Program probably couldn't help----fishducky
