Wednesday, June 8, 2016


Blogger, in its infinite wisdom, decided not to run this yesterday so I'm trying for today along with my Wednesday post.

Let's start with a simple question just to loosen things up.
Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia is the scientific name for what condition?
It's brain freeze, but we all knew that, didn't we?

 (This was sent to me by my Ducky Carole, who apparently enjoys tormenting me.)
Our Yearly Dementia Test--only 4  questions

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.
             Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's                important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test.
Some may think it is too easy, but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.

The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer, so scroll slowly:

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin. 

1. What do you put in a toaster? 

Answer : 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else  Try not to hurt yourself. 

If you said, bread, go to Question 2. 

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer : Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question.
Your brain is overstressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading
more appropriate literature such as Auto World.

However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3. 

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue brick and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.  If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???

If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4. 

4. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on.  In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?

Answer : Oh, for crying out loud!   Don't you remember your own age?   It was YOU driving the bus!! (Go back and look!).

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!! 
OK . . . just go have a glass of wine . . . Nothing will matter in a few hours . . . And you will definitely NOT be driving the bus!!

If you don't agree with (or are upset by) the results of this test, feel free to take (or retake) this test I ran in January: 


This test is to ascertain your mental state now.  If you get one right you are doing okay -- if you get none right you better go for counselling.

There are 4 test questions.  Don't miss one.

Giraffe test
1...How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?  Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.

The correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

Elephant Test

2...How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?  Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.   This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

Lion King Test

3...The Lion King is hosting an Animal Conference.  All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant.  The elephant is in the refrigerator.  You just put him in there.   This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

Crocodile Test

4...There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat.  How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across.  Haven't you been listening?  All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference.  This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

You might be interested in this book:

I've run this before.
Do you remember it?

Who's calling, please?----fishducky



To see yesterday's post, click on "newer post" at the bottom of this one.

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution"
Comedian and actress Mae West.  West also said “men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.”.

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
Physicist Albert Einstein 

"Adrian Mole's father was so angry that so many people got divorced nowadays. He had been unhappily married for 30 years, why should everybody else get away?”
Sue Townsend, who wrote The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13¾". Above, Adrian Mole was played by Gian Sammarco in the classic TV series.

"My husband said he needed more space … so I locked him outside"
Roseanne Barr 

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Groucho Marx

 "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats"
Comedian Woody Allen, who also said: "Marriage is the death of hope" and that "I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."

"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband"
Michel de Montaigne was one of the most significant philosophers of the French Renaissance.

"A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late"
Frank Sinatra 

"Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory."
Abraham Lincoln

"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing 
– and then marry him."

 "Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit"
Comedian Billy Connolly

 "I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe'"
Comedian Joan Rivers also said: "Half of all marriages end in divorce – and then there are the really unhappy ones."

"I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack, she wrote for an ambulance"
Irish comedian Frank Carson 

"Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries"
Wayne to Garth in the 1992 film "Wayne's World"

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience”
Oscar Wilde 

"Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage"
Ambrose Bierce

 “Longed for him. Got him. Shit”

Canadian Margaret Atwood

 "Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Rita Rudner

“My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked”

Winston Churchill

"A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores"

Author Terry Pratchett 

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards"

Benjamin Franklin

“They say all marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning”

Actor and director Clint Eastwood

 “'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?”

George Carlin

 "A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it"

Actress Zsa Zsa Gabor

 "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher"


"Marriage: the most advanced form of warfare in the modern world”

Malcolm Bradbury, author of The History Man.

In 1959, Billy Wilder ended his comedy "Some Like It Hot" with a joke from the millionaire Osgood Fielding III (Joe E Brown) about getting married, as he is steering a boat away from the pier in Miami. Osgood is with his new love Daphne - who is a man in drag, played brilliantly by Jack Lemmon. Daphne takes off her wig and says “I’m a man!”, to which Osgood replies, deadpan: "Well, nobody’s perfect!” 
(All pictures & quotes from telegraph.co.uk)

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?----fishducky