I used to write things & draw pictures on leftover
containers from restaurants. This was so I would be able to eat my own food the next day. When the kids were
still at home I would write various things on the box so they would leave it
alone. Some examples: “Keep out”, “Don’t touch” or “This is Mom’s”.
These did no good. I graduated to “Poison” (with the appropriate skull
& crossbones), “Danger—Live Snakes” & even “Caution—Radioactive
Materials”!! None of these worked either. Now that all the kids are
married & gone, I just put an “X” on the box to remind my husband not to
eat it. About nine eight seven times out of ten, he’ll leave it
for me.
My husband
& I were making our first trip to Europe. We had been with our
friends Earl & Flavia (who then lived in Paris with their bobcat, Roberta)
& we went on to London. We decided to invite them to come over to
London & go to a stage show & dinner as a “thank you”. We saw
“Jesus Christ, Superstar”, which had just opened. After
dinner Flavia asked the maitre d' for a doggy bag for her leftovers. He
said, "Oh, you have a dog?" She told him no, that she had a
cat. "Moi, aussi," (So do I) he said, "What kind?"
She said that she actually had a bobcat. "Sacre bleu!! Moi, aussi!!"
he said excitedly & they whipped out pictures--proud parents that they
were!!
--------------------------------------------
“Oh,
no! Not leftovers again!” complained my older sister when she saw the leftover
meatloaf on the table from last night’s supper. “Young lady” responded my
father sternly, “do you know how many people would love to have a delicious
supper like this?! You should be ashamed of yourself! Now before we start
eating I want to hear you say grace thanking the Lord for this delicious meal!”
“Thank you Lord for this delicious supper”, muttered my sister submissively
“….again!”
-------------------------------------------
"Most turkeys taste better the day after;
my mother’s tasted better the day before." —Rita Rudner
--------------------------------------------
Got anything to eat, lady?” asked the tramp. “Do you mind eating
last week’s leftovers?” “Not at all.” “Good. Come back next week, then.”
-------------------------------------------
New bride: I trained our dog not to beg at the table.
New bride: I trained our dog not to beg at the table.
Friend: How did you do
that?
New bride: I let him taste
my cooking.
Some recipes for beginning cooks:
TAP WATER
TAP WATER
BOILING WATER
1. Open
your cupboard or wherever it is you store your cookware.
2. Locate
a 12-quart stockpot. If you do not have a 12-quart stockpot, you may use
whatever size pot you have; in that event, keep in mind that serving size here
is 1 cup and there are 4 cups in a quart. Do the math.
3. Place
your pot in the sink under the tap. If you have never used a sink before, it is
the large depression in your counter top. (If you live with someone else, they
may have filled it with dirty dishes; in this case, wash them or simply remove
them from the sink and place them in the oven — someone else will eventually
discover them there and wash them.).
4. Turn
the cold-water knob to the "on" position. Some people (like my dad)
prefer to let the water run a little bit. This is optional but encouraged — if
it's a hot day or someone has previously used the "hot" water knob,
the warmer water will eventually be replaced by truly cold water.
5. Fill
stockpot to within a couple inches of the rim.
6. Lift
stockpot from sink and transfer to stove. (Although appearances may vary, the
stove is the thing with 4 or more circular metal bands on top of it;
alternately, it may be a completely flat black glass surface. If you are
unsure, ask your family, roommate, or neighbor for guidance.).
7. Find
knob on stove that corresponds to the "burner" you have placed your
pot on. In addition to words like "Right Front" or "Left
Rear," there are usually little pictures near the knobs to indicate
position.
8. Turn
knob to "High" and wait until water boils. Depending on strength of
your stove and amount of water, the boiling time may vary. Note: DO NOT WATCH
THE POT; it will never boil in the event that you do.
If you feel a little more ambitious, you might want to try this:
BAKED CAMEL
If you feel a little more ambitious, you might want to try this:
BAKED CAMEL
Ingredients
- 1 large camel
- 2 large sheep
- 4 large turkeys
- 20 large carp
- 200 medium
seagull eggs
- 400 large dates
- banana leaf, as needed
1. Cook
the eggs, peel them.
2. Scale
the carps.
3. Fill
the carps with the dates and the eggs. Fill the turkeys with the carps.
4. Fill
the sheep with the turkeys.
5. Fill
the camel with the sheep.
6. Dig
a large pit.
7. Place
about 500 kilos of charcoal in the pit and light them.
8. Wrap
the camel in the banana-leafs and place in the pit.
9. Cover
with earth and bake for two days
10.
Serve with rice.
food.com
We must be very careful not to use food that is old. Below is a table that will help you:
FOOD SPOILAGE TABLE
THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).
EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.
MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.
CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a basketball should be disposed of. Carefully.
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a basketball should be disposed of. Carefully.
WINE
It should not taste like salad dressing.
It should not taste like salad dressing.
POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.
gumbopages.com
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.
gumbopages.com
The best way to serve leftovers is to someone else----fishducky
