(Ed. note: Rudyard Kipling submitted these
"Just Not So Stories" to his editor in 1895. They were rejected.
Following his editor's suggestion, he reworked them into a book called
"Just So Stories" which was finally published in 1902. We were
fortunate enough to find these drafts among his papers.)
(Disclaimer: OK, I admit it; These are
from my book, "Fishducky's Fables" and I've run some of these before,
but, hey, I'm 82. You can't expect me to run a new post five times a
week. At least I've reworked them and the cartoons are all new!!)
Did you know that a long
time ago zebras had no stripes? They looked like short chubby
horses. After extensive research, I have discovered how they got
them. Gather around me, little ones, and I will tell you what I’ve
learned.
Most zebras were
completely satisfied being short and totally white, although they did have
to go to the dry cleaners fairly often. (They were notoriously messy
eaters and the food they got on their white coats always showed.)
There was one zebra, however, who was not happy with the way he looked.
His name was Ziggy and he was one phat dude. He wanted to stand out in a
crowd.
He tried braying loudly,
but the other zebras said that made him sound like an ass. He had his
ears (and other parts) pierced, but he had trouble getting the rings and other
jewelry in and out, because he didn’t have opposable hooves. He tried
commissioning some famous artists to paint his portrait--as they saw him--to
get an idea of how he could change. He sent them each a snapshot.
That didn’t work out too well. Jackson Pollock saw him as a bunch of
spots and paint dribbles. Andy Warhol sent him back four pictures which
were all the same, except for the colors, and one painting of a can of
Campbell’s Cream of Zebra Soup--which frightened him!! Salvador Dali’s
contribution looked like a bunch of limp zebra pieces which were stacked on each
other every which way.
His friends came up with
a plan. They contacted a famous designer's offices and told them Ziggy needed a
makeover. Since they had never worked with a zebra before, they were excited and came to Africa to secretly film him for the "before" pictures. When they asked, he
agreed to go to New York and bring all his clothes with him. (That part
was easy, because he didn’t have any!) He tried to hold out for plaid,
but in the end he agreed with the designers that he looked best
in vertical black and white stripes because they made him look thinner, and he
agreed. They suggested horizontal stripes on his legs for contrast. Something drastic had to be done with his mane, which had never before
been professionally cut or styled. The hairdresser said it was much too long for
his face and hid his beautiful eyelashes and gave him a crewcut. He
told Ziggy that all he had to do was to put some butch wax on it to keep it
stiff.
Ziggy was
absolutely thrilled with his new look!! He wowed the people who were at
his welcoming back party. In fact, so many zebras loved the way he looked
that they started to copy him, but he didn’t mind, because he was first!
The “Ziggy Look” became so popular that, after a while, all baby zebras were
born that way.
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?----fishducky
