(Reworked from a 2015 post.)
One of my favorite jokes, told poorly:
A priest, a rabbi & a chef decided to go to Africa & open a vegetarian restaurant. Then the priest & the rabbi changed their minds, so the chef did it by himself, even though most jokes are funnier with a priest, a rabbi & a third person. He thought a sandwich shop would be more popular than a vegetarian restaurant so that's what he opened. He had a big sign made that said, “We make sandwiches from any African animal! If we can’t make your sandwich, we’ll pay you $10,000.00!!” & he had it printed on the menus, too. Anyway, the restaurant did pretty well for a while until a priest & a rabbi & somebody else (this is where they are supposed to be in the joke) came in & one of them--it must have been the priest because I don't think elephants are kosher--ordered an elephant ball sandwich with mustard. Wait a minute, I forgot to say that he wanted it on rye bread. That part is important. The waiter tried to convince the priest to have it on French bread, a croissant or even a bagel instead, because he thought they were out of rye bread--but the priest insisted on rye. The waiter goes to the manager & tells him that he’s going to have to pay the $10,000.00. The manager asks why & the waiter tells him that a customer just ordered an elephant ball sandwich on rye. He tells the waiter that’s no problem; a new shipment of elephant balls just came in along with several loaves of rye bread. It turns out that they had to pay the guy the $10,000.00 anyway, because they had run out of mustard!!
And the way it should be told:
Poachers in Africa opened a restaurant. Their come on was: “We make sandwiches from any African animal! If we can’t make your sandwich, we’ll pay you $10,000.00!!” Business was booming for months. They sold sandwiches made of ground zebra, lion pot roast, leg of hippo, etc. One day the waiter tries to place an order with the cook. Together, they sadly go to the manager & tell him that he’s going to have to pay the $10,000.00. He asks why & they tell him that a customer just ordered an elephant ball sandwich on rye. He tells them that’s no problem; a new shipment of elephant balls just came in. The cook says, “I know that! The problem is, we’re out of rye bread!!”
The Carol Burnett Show was hilarious,
especially when Tim Conway was on.
Here are some examples:
Doctors still made house calls when this was filmed:
Here are some of the cartoons from the original post
which I thought were too good to take out:
These cartoons are new:
Carol Wyer's new book, The Silent Children, is being released today.
I was fortunate enough to get an advance copy.
This is the fourth book in the series & they just keep getting better & better. It opens with a man shot to death in a park whose body is discovered by a little boy. The list of possible murderers keeps growing, then shrinking as one by one, they, too, are found murdered, like ten little Indians. Ms. Wyer kept me guessing until the very end. I can’t wait until book five comes out!!