Thursday, December 14, 2017


(Reworked from several old posts with some new stuff thrown in.)

They didn't even listen to my answer:

I was at a doctor’s office, waiting in one of the operatories, when he & his nurse came in.  They told me they had an emergency & that it would be a little while before they could treat me.  They asked me if they could get me anything while I was waiting.  I told them a margarita would be nice.  No reaction whatsoever!!  I wonder why they even asked?

He was a really good listener:

My friend was throwing a cocktail party in her apartment.  She finished preparing her platters & set them on the kitchen counter under the window.  Her guests were due in just under an hour.  Pleased to have everything done so early, she took a leisurely shower.  She got dressed, put on her makeup & returned to the kitchen.  It had started raining hard while she was showering & the window above the food was open.  The rain was coming through the dirty window screen & coating the food below.  She climbed on the counter to close the window.  She slipped on the wet, dirty counter, fell on the food & landed on the floor with a sore ankle!!

The phone rang & she limped over to answer it.  She cried & complained at length to the caller about her guest’s imminent arrival, the ruined food, her now dirty clothes & her sore ankle..  The man who was calling responded with short, sympathetic comments & let her continue ranting & raving.  After several minutes, she realized she didn’t know who she was talking to.  After checking, it turned out to be a wrong number.  She asked the man why he had continued to listen to her complain when he didn’t even know her.  He said that she obviously was having such a bad night, he didn’t have the heart to interrupt.

Maybe he shouldn't have listened:

I went into a public restroom & I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: “Hi, how are you?”

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom, but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doin' just fine.”

And the other guy says: “So what are you up to?”

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: “Uhhh, not much.”

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. “Can I come over?”

OK, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, “No........I'm a little busy right now!!”

Then I hear the guy say nervously...

“Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.”


When I got tired of listening:

Bud had a ’69 Buick that talked.  I remember we were driving somewhere & trying to have a conversation.  Every few minutes it informed us, “Your window washer fluid is low.”  I finally replied, “Shut up, Harry!!”  I don’t think they made talking cars for much longer.