From left, Gus Wheeler, Lou Borgenicht, Carol Sisco, Chris
Vanocur,
Tony Caputo and John Lesnan. (Heather Aagard)
Self-proclaimed ‘Old Coots’ offer life
advice at farmers market. Their slogan: ‘It’s Probably Bad Advice, But It’s
Free.’
The group of
retired friends who meet every Saturday morning at a Salt Lake City deli were
growing tired of the same conversation each week.
Sure, they were
solving the world’s problems. But they wanted more excitement in their Saturday
morning. They wanted to share their wisdom beyond their friend group of seven.
As a lark, they set up a card table at the nearby Salt Lake City’s farmers
market and told people they were dispensing free advice.
“We were
sitting outside, bored stiff from talking to each other, and I said, 'You know
what? I’m going to get us a booth across the street at the farmers market,
where we can give advice,” said Tony Caputo, founder of a deli with his
namesake where the group usually meets.
Caputo even
made a large banner and hung it up: “Old Coots Giving Advice — It’s Probably
Bad Advice, But It’s Free.”
It was mostly
for their own entertainment, a way to give a boost to their coffee klatch. But
to their surprise, people started showing up and sharing their problems. A lot
of them.
“Where can I
find someone to love?”
“Why does my
cat pee on everything in the house?”
“Have I put in
enough time at my new job to take a one-week vacation?”
Quickly, they realized
how much people need a sounding board. They took the responsibility seriously.
“People ask us,
‘Are you guys qualified to do this?’ and of course, we have to say no,” said
Caputo, 69. “But neither was Ann Landers. Hopefully, we won’t mess people up
too much.”
Each Saturday
since the summer, the “Old Coots” have taken on the issues of about 30 to 40
people who come by seeking their advice. It’s a way for a person to get an
outside opinion from somebody who has nothing to gain, he said.
"It
started as a joke, but it's become a phenomenon,” Caputo said. “Somebody told
us the other day that we're the most popular attraction at the market. We
always listen carefully and don't give gratuitous advice."
Besides Caputo,
group members include Lou Borgenicht, 75, a retired pediatrician, Gus Wheeler,
67, a former elementary school teacher, Rich Klein, 73, who used to run a
kitchen countertop business, John Lesnan, 69, a retired human services manager,
and Carol Sisco, 70, a retired journalist who is the only female “coot.” Chris
Vanocur, 58, a former local television news reporter, also shows up now and
then to offer advice as a “coot in training.”
“Tony was going
to call [the group] ‘Old Guys,’ but I nixed it because it sounded sexist,
although he didn’t mean it that way,” said Sisco, who suggested that “Old
Coots” would be a better fit. “I told him it had more of a ring to it,” she
said.
She said the
most common questions are from young people who want to find a partner but
don’t know how to meet someone. They’ll usually steer the lovelorn toward
activities they might enjoy, like hiking and book clubs so they can meet people
they have something in common with.
"Everybody
wants to have somebody in their lives,” said Lesnan. “Sometimes, I wonder if we
should become matchmakers.”
They also field
questions about how to keep romance alive, said Klein, who has been married for
27 years.
"I always
tell people that the first thing you do is put down your phone and start
talking,” Klein said.
Only two topics
— religion and politics — are off limits, although the group does keep a pad of
voter registration forms handy to encourage people to vote in November.
On a recent
Saturday, the coots listened carefully to Jane Riley, 57, who runs a property
management company in Park City, Utah, and wanted tips on communicating better
with her husband. They told her it was important to “listen, be kind and laugh
together.” Riley smiled and offered her thanks.
"The daily
grind is stressful and can take a toll on a relationship,” she said. “I really
appreciated chatting with the Old Coots.”
The group gets
unusual queries as well, including a question from a man who wondered what to
do about the ghosts he saw in his house.
"We
wondered if he should move, but he said that the people followed him wherever
he went,” Caputo said.
Ultimately, the
coots suggested he seek therapy and hire a medium to find out why the spirits
wouldn't leave him alone. The man agreed.
During another
discussion, a girl said she was scared of her dolls (Sisco gently suggested
that the mom put the dolls in a taped-up box for a while and store it in the
basement). And in another, an elderly man told them he was going blind and
asked where he could seek help. The group suggested that he get a guide dog and
referred him to the Utah School for the Deaf and Blind.
That session
was followed by one with a 14-year-old girl whose mother wanted her to become a
professional chess player so they could travel and compete together. Through
tears, the teen told the coots that she didn't want to give up her school life
and friends to satisfy her mom's dream.
Borgenicht and
Sisco talked about ways that the girl could convey to her mom that she loved
chess, but also needed time for her own life and schoolwork.
“I told her,
‘Enjoy this time of life — this is not about your mother, it’s about you,’”
recalled Borgenicht.
Wheeler said he
was surprised one weekend when a woman asked him for advice on whether to
vacation this January in London or Tanzania. Wheeler had just spent an hour
online looking into airfare to Tanzania for a vacation of his own. He told her
to go to Tanzania, telling her how much a flight would cost and added: “Who
wants to go to London in January?'"
“That’s
incredible, how do you know this stuff?” the woman asked. Wheeler shrugged.
“It’s just what we do,” he told her.
(washington post.com/Cathy Free)
Watch out for this old lady:
And these:
For some funny tweets about getting old, click here.
I have to go & take my nap now----fishducky
