Wednesday, February 6, 2019


This would have been me & Bud today.

(Reworked from a 2012 post & also on our anniversary in 2017.)

My husband & I would have celebrated our 64th anniversary today.  We made it to about 63 10/12.  I feel that gives me the right to make a suggestion.  For some time now, I’ve felt that marriage licenses should be treated more like driver’s licenses.  You should either have the option to renew them every 4 or 5 years or so, or turn them back in--never to drive, or to be married, again.  I would probably have renewed mine, but as for Bud, who knows?  Let me give you some examples of why I say “probably”.
To get to our home from the freeway, you drive east on Santa Monica Blvd.  A few years ago, the city made Santa Monica a divided street.  Some business & street entrances (including our street) were then located off a service road.  There are two places to turn into the service road & then onto our street.  It really makes no difference which turn you take.  Bud always took the second (most easterly) one.  I told him I usually took the first turn.  He looked at me like he couldn’t believe it & said, “Well, that’s just WRONG!!”  To this day, I have no idea why.

We still found each other (reasonably) attractive.  Perhaps that’s due to failing eyesight caused by old age.  We have both added a few pounds over the years.  My features are still good—but my face needs ironing. We both suffered from an advanced case of altakockeritis.  This is a disease that old Jews get that can’t be fully explained to those not of our faith.  (Think of it as a sort of mild form of Alzheimer’s.)  We shared the belief that you know your relationship is solid when one of you can belch (or pass gas) & both of you can laugh.  Does this mean it’s true that love means never having to say you’re sorry?

My mother belonged to an organization that raised money to help retarded children.  She was being installed as president at their annual “Lollipop Ball.”  It was held at a downtown hotel & our ticket package included free parking in a lot directly across the street.  Bud instead drove into the hotel’s parking lot, for which we would have to pay extra.  I reminded him that the lot across the street would be free.  He told me that he knew that, but he was too rich to walk across the street!!  (Note: That was the day I stopped clipping coupons.  I’ve often felt that my husband & I lived in two different worlds--& his is better!!)

Bud used to talk in his sleep.  This can often be the cause of problems.  For instance, there was the night I was awakened by him talking loudly “on the phone”.  He said--& this is a direct quote, “He’s got as much chance of doing that as I have of screwing Elizabeth!”  I took a deep breath.  He continued his “conversation”, “That is the name of the present queen of England, isn’t it?”  I remember another classic.  When I got into bed, he was sound asleep.  He put his arms around me & drew me close, cuddling me.  He murmured, “Take a letter…..”

His parents were married 64½ years when his mom passed away.  When people would ask what her secret was for such a long marriage, her answer was “inertia”.  It was easier to stay married than to do something about it.  Besides, who in their right mind would want to break in--& train--a new husband?

I realize I may not be perfect, either.  That’s why one of the cards I gave Bud last year was this one:

For the secret to a happy marriage, click here.