Monday, April 22, 2019


(This accidentally got posted on 1/29 before it was anywhere near ready.)

Some questions have been bothering me lately.  Can you answer them for me, please?
(Some of these are mine & some I found at chartcons.com.)

What is the speed of dark?

If they sell dresses in a dress shop & candy in a candy shop, why don't they sell butchers in a butcher shop?

Dairy farmers raise cows.  How do they know how deep to plant them?

Same question for people who raise chickens.  How deep does the egg go?

All elephants are grey.  Why aren't there any with a sense of style?

Are venetian blinds really made by blind Venetians?

For the pen to be mightier than the sword, wouldn't it have to be a really big pen with a very sharp point?

When I thank you for something, why do you tell me "no problem"?  Would you not have done it if there was a problem?

Why don’t black guys get white tattoos?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

Why is the word “hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia” meaning a fear of long words so long?

If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

When you perform a head count, do Siamese twins count as one or two?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?

How do you remove a club soda stain?

How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?

Have you ever actually signed on a dotted line?

Exactly how happy are clams?